I thought this was great; we have enjoyed doing things together without alcohol. A couple of times I suspected she had been drinking. Bea confided that Kim is in group therapy for drinking, but that she went on a bender and got her second DUI. I was asked to keep this confidential, and so I decided to act oblivious around Kim. When she did not return any of my text messages I again reached out to Bea.
I was told that Kim had to spend 30 days in jail for her drinking episode. Kim texted me within hours of being released, saying she had to care for her ailing dad out of town. Now she has informed me that she needs a ride each time we are together.
I completely understand why she would not want people to know, but I am caught in the crosshairs of her lies. She is a beautiful person with an ugly disease, and it has to be a heavy burden to be hiding behind all those lies on top of trying to stay sober. I want to let Kim know that she has no need to lie to me anymore. She will not lose my friendship, and more importantly, I would be happy to help her through this difficult time. It is not the drinking problem that bothers me.
However, I do not want to go back on my word with Bea, who has asked me to keep quiet. If I approach Kim, it will be obvious the only way I found out was from her family member. Advice on how to proceed without making matters worse? And you have been lying to her. I know this is a really tough disease. No judgment from me. I will always support you in every way I can. Being honest about her drinking will be a big part of supporting her sobriety, but she might not be there, yet.
Dear Amy: I am a relatively healthy year-old retired university professor. I hike over 8 miles per day. I am happily married with one daughter and two grandchildren. I am fully aware of my memory problems, but they are not yet obvious to others. How are you? And you? I almost never know their name instantly. I presume I will get worse with time.
